When Will a Person Be Reunited With Their Dead Parents Again?

In the 2017 Disney-Pixar movie "Coco," the main character, Miguel, accidentally passes over into the country of the expressionless on Dia De Los Muertos (Day of the Dead) while trying to reconcile his love of music with his family's ban on information technology.

There, he learns that the dead can merely visit their loved ones on that vacation if they can bear witness at that place is a photo of them on their family unit'due south "ofrenda", an altar with photos of loved ones, colorful decorations, and the favorite foods, drinks and mementos of the deceased.

"We've put their photos on the ofrenda so their spirits can cantankerous over. That is very important! If nosotros don't put them up, they can't come up!" Miguel's abuelita explains.

While in the land of the expressionless, Miguel bumps into his own deceased family members, and learns his true family history.

Though Miguel's feel is fictional, it is not uncommon for grieving loved ones to experience what psychologists telephone call "Afterward Decease Communication," in which the bereaved believe that they see, hear the voices of, or even smell their dead loved ones.

These experiences, sometimes called "bereavement hallucinations," tin can be healing and comforting for those who grieve, multiple studies have found.

Merely Catholics should proceed with caution when "communicating" with the expressionless, two Catholic psychologists told CNA, and they should ground their communications in prayer.

Dana Nygaard is a Catholic and a licensed professional person advisor who speaks to grief groups and counsels clients through loss. Nygaard told CNA that considering many Catholics misunderstand what happens to souls after death, she urges caution when talking about what it means to talk to expressionless loved ones.

"If they're speaking to a loved one, how are they doing that? Is information technology through saying, 'Hey grandma, I think you're up there in sky with God. I really hope y'all pray and look over me.' Okay, well that sounds fine," she said.

"Or...are they going to a psychic or a medium? Is this necromancy? How were they doing this?  I retrieve that'southward an important question," Nygaard said.

According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, "all forms of divination are to be rejected" which includes the "conjuring up the dead."

Notwithstanding, the Church encourages Catholics to pray for the dead as one of the spiritual works of mercy.

"From the beginning the Church building has honored the retentiveness of the dead and offered prayers in suffrage for them, above all the Eucharistic sacrifice, and then that, thus purified, they may achieve the beatific vision of God. The Church as well commends almsgiving, indulgences, and works of penance undertaken on behalf of the dead," the Catechism states.

"Permit us not hesitate to help those who have died and to offer our prayers for them."

"Prayer, prayer, prayer," Nygaard said, noting that because Catholics do not know the land of the souls of their loved ones when they die, it is important to pray for them after their expiry, equally prayers can assist the souls in purgatory go to heaven faster.

The Liturgy of the Hours, a set of prayers said periodically throughout the day past priests, religious and some lay Catholics, includes a special Office of the Dead, a set of prayers said specifically for those who have died.

Nygaard told CNA that she often encourages Catholics who are grieving a loss to inquire for the intercessory prayers of saints already canonized by the Church, which means that they are assured to be with God in heaven.

"Maybe information technology was that my smashing-grandmother was really close to St. Anne. I'm going to enquire St. Anne, 'Would you lot please look after my sweet great grandmother? I pray she'south there with you in heaven.' I've known people also to pray, 'God, I'm asking you, do I need to keep praying for my father?'" she said.

Nygaard said that those she counsels through grief will sometimes, afterwards a period of prayer, feel a deep sense of peace that their loved one is in heaven.

Dr. Chris Stravitsch is a licensed professional counselor and marriage and family therapist, as well equally the president and founder of Rejoice Counseling Apostolate, a grouping of Catholic counselors. Stravitsch told CNA that in addition to prayer, he counsels his clients to prepare for their first year of grief, which can oftentimes exist the most hard.

"At that place are a lot of 'firsts' to pass through: the first Christmas without him or her; their first birthday without them present; the first nuptials anniversary lone; etc. I counsel people to prepare for these occasions in advance because we know it volition exist painful and hard," he said.

He said he tells his clients to plan in advance how and with whom they will spend these difficult days, and how they will remember their loved ones at those times.

"It'south helpful to environment yourself with other loved ones who understand your loss, while likewise setting bated a little time to be lonely in prayer and reminiscing," he said.

"These are meaningful days to nourish Mass, so that you can cling to Christ and receive His alleviation. Visiting the gravesite or a place where you have a special memory tin also be meaningful, whether that is done alone or with the back up of others," he said.

"Furthermore, exist certain to tell stories and talk nigh your deceased loved ones," he added. "We need to continue coming together at various times to remember them in a spirit of love and prayer. This is a balm for the brokenhearted."

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Stravitsch said it is important for Catholics to remember that death and grief are painful things to feel, and that Jesus himself wept at the death of his friend Lazarus.

"(Jesus) wants to be with united states and share our grief," he said. This ways Catholics should be sensitive towards those who are grieving, and avoid well-intentioned but unhelpful comments such as: "It was God's will"; "It was their time to go"; "They're in a better identify now"; or "In that location'southward a reason for everything"; Stravitsch said.

"Merely saying, 'I'm deplorable', giving a warm embrace, sharing a tear, and remaining at their side equally long as needed can be far more than consoling," he said.

Checking back in after the funeral has passed, and continuing to talk near the deceased with those who are grieving are other ways Catholics can testify compassion, he said.

Both Nygaard and Stravitsch said that they have establish that clients are usually deeply comforted past the Church'due south teaching on the communion of saints and the promise of everlasting life for all souls who are united with God.

"In the Catholic Church, like we have the mystical trunk of Christ. And we know that the souls in sky are surrounding the altar during communion," she said.

"What I have constitute is that normally brings a great sense of peace," to the bereaved, she said. "Information technology's not only me sitting at that place when I go upwards for communion...we're mystically connected and that we can ask for the intercession of the saints," which means any soul that is in sky with God.

In his Letter to the Hebrews, St. Paul recalls those already in heaven, and says that the faithful are surrounded "by then great a cloud of witnesses."

"When the Lord comes in glory, and all his angels with him, decease will exist no more than and all things volition exist subject to him. But at the present fourth dimension some of his disciples are pilgrims on earth. Others have died and are beingness purified, while all the same others are in glory, contemplating 'in full light, God himself triune and one, exactly as he is.' All of united states of america, yet, in varying degrees and in different ways share in the same charity towards God and our neighbors, and nosotros all sing the one hymn of glory to our God. All, indeed, who are of Christ and who accept his Spirit course one Church building and in Christ cleave together,'" the Catechism states.

These teachings are a "great consolation for the bereaved," Stravitsch said.

"Not only is there the hope of existence reunited with our loved ones after decease, but there is the reality of remaining mysteriously continued with them even today. Whether nosotros are interceding for them as we pray for the repose of their soul or we are asking for their prayers, there is a sense that nosotros are within reach of 1 another," he added.

"The bonds of truthful honey are not destroyed in death but are made always stronger. The Church recognizes this in a unique fashion when we celebrate All Souls Twenty-four hours and nosotros phone call to mind our deceased loved ones. We are united in Christ."

This article was originally published on CNA on Aug. xviii, 2019.

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Source: https://www.catholicnewsagency.com/news/42049/remember-me-should-catholics-talk-to-their-dead-loved-ones

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